Visualizer

I often think in 3D. I can visualize almost anything, an apple for example. I can picture a white background, a red apple, maybe honeycrisp with a  green leaf on top, casting a small shadow from the bright overhead lighting. We had an apple tree in out backyard growing up, so I spent a lot of time analyzing the fruits and flowers. I studied the backs of leaves, looking at the stomata we learned about in science. Each tiny pocket reminded me of the skin on the back of my hands.

Reading books nearly drove me into a hermetic lifestyle (this is still my end goal.) I could picture the story unfolding before me, details and expressions on characters faces, the colors described of their clothing, the construction of the patterns. I love breaking things down in my mind, especially clothing. What fabric did they use? Natural or synthetic dye? How would they alter that pattern to fit on a different body type? In my mind I deconstruct and reconstruct the garment, down to the stitching. It's a fun mental hobby of mine.

I enjoyed getting to know characters through their own worldview. I could take out the guessing for why a character acted the way they did, I already had the background knowledge. I didn't have to do any guesswork or make assumptions or try to sniff out hidden meanings like in day to day talks with fellow humans. 

That's what I do best, stare and analyze. I love taking things at face value. Tell me what you are and don't hide anything. I may not know the past or the future, but I can see all that you are right here, right now. 

I am a tactile learner as well, I love to feel the different textures of fabric, flowers, skin, hair; when I get close to people I will often see if I can hug them or hold them to feel their skin. I don't want to be creepy...but hell who gives a shit if its consensual! Now biting is not something I can do with day-to-day interactions, sadly. I love feeling skin in my mouth, under my teeth; the taste of freshly washed flesh is one of my favorites. 

On a less sunny note, my brain loves to visualize my death, or the deaths of others. Lately, the scenes that flash behind my eyes involve guns, vehicular accidents, and sharp objects. Or imagining the reactions to the cutting words I could say to leave a situation. 

When I'm not thinking in 3D, I think in words. A beige background with words inscribed in black ink appear right behind my eyes, following what I am hearing or practicing what I am going to say. It's especially fun to do with songs! I am my own karaoke machine. If I want to commit a song to memory, I do, and repeat the words incessantly or write them down to solidify my memory. 

Uh I don't know how to wrap this one up 

the end?